Iron Kaputt (Fictional Tank)

German Empire (1900-1918)
Superheavy Tank – Fictional

In the 1990s, television in post-Soviet countries was experiencing a wave of freedom. With entertaining, satirical, and political plots galore, the era was remembered not just for its sense of impunity and permissiveness, but also for the release of many iconic media pieces. One such product was the ‘Calambur’ sketch show, which gained tremendous popularity and maintained it long after it aired. It became the subject of memes, jokes, photo edits, and more. Among its sketches was ‘Iron Kaputt’ (German for ‘broken’ or ‘ruined’), which narrated stories of a superheavy German Empire tank of the same name, a supposed ‘Wunderwaffe’, operating in Central Africa against unruly locals.

German Empire Vehicles of the WWI Period

During late WWI and the early Interwar period, when the events shown in the series take place, various tank projects had appeared in Germany.

The most recognizable German vehicle of that time is undoubtedly the Sturmpanzerwagen A7V (A7V stands for ‘Abteilung 7, Verkehrswesen’, meaning General War Department, Section 7, Transportation), developed in response to British tanks. One hundred chassis were ordered in early 1917, with ten intended to be completed as fighting vehicles with armored hulls, and the rest as Überlandwagen cargo carriers. Later, the number of armored ones was increased to twenty. A7Vs were deployed in action from March to October 1918 and were the first and only tanks produced by Germany in WWI to see combat.

In 1917, while the A7V was already in production, the Sturmpanzerwagen A7V-U was developed. This variant featured a rhomboidal hull shape and layout similar to the British tanks. Care was taken to ensure that many parts between this model and the regular A7V were interchangeable. However, production of the A7V-U, of which a single prototype was assembled at Daimler-Motoren-Gesellschaft, was ceased due to numerous drawbacks, even in comparison to the A7V. Development of the A7V-U was finally abandoned on September 12th, 1918.

Another attempt to replace the A7V was the Sturmpanzerwagen Oberschlesien (German for Assault Tank «Upper Silesia»). This design was arguably the most progressive of its time, incorporating many features that would only become common ten years later. The tracks of Oberschlesien did not go around the fighting compartment, like on most WWI-era vehicles, instead wrapping a lower half of the hull. This design prioritized speed over armor; a 180 hp engine was intended to propel the 19-tonne vehicle at a speed of 16 km/h. The main armament was mounted on top of the tank in a centrally placed rotating turret. The frontal fighting and rear engine compartments were separated. Unfortunately, with the end of WWI, the Oberschlesien project was terminated.

One of the most extraordinary projects of that time was the Kolossalwagen, also known as the K-wagen or Großkampfwagen – a highly ambitious project that was doomed to fail from the beginning, as Germany did not yet possess the experience and industrial capacity to adequately produce such tanks.

The tank was intended to be crewed by 27 men consisting of two drivers and two machine gunners at the front of the tank; a commander and an artillery officer in the turret; behind them was a signalman, and behind him in the engine compartment would be two mechanics. Twelve additional crew were needed to operate the artillery guns and a further four for the machine guns.

The K-Wagen would have been operated like a true landship. The commander and the artillery officer observed from their cupola (bridge) and issued orders to the two drivers, who had no vision ports of their own. Orders were then relayed to the batteries of guns and machine guns to engage targets, with the use of light signals.

Two of these vehicles were almost completed by the end of the war and were intended for use in the upcoming operations of 1919. One of the vehicles was essentially ready for trials. However, none were permitted to leave the factory because the war ended, and the Allied Control Commission ordered both vehicles to be dismantled.

History of the ‘Calambur’ Show

In 1992, the clown trio Shop ‘Foo’ (rus. ‘Магазин Фу’), comprising Sergey Gladkov, Tatyana Ivanova, and Vadim Nabokov, along with the comic troupe Sweet Life (rus. ‘Сладкая жизнь’), featuring actors Yuri Stytskovsky and Aleksey Agopyan, joined the popular Odessa comic troupe ‘Masks’ (rus. ‘Маски’). Their television debut was marked by episodic and main roles in Masks Show, a series of silent comedy movies that infused slapstick and eccentricity into sitcom-style storytelling. The concept of video comics was conceived by Gladkov and Nabokov, and the first two sketch movies featuring Shop ‘Foo’ characters were produced in 1992 and 1993. During the production of the TV show Anshlag, they crossed paths with prominent Russian comic actors Ilya Oleynikov and Yuri Stoyanov and decided to create their own clown comics with dialogue.

Production for the first 12 episodes of the Full House show commenced in April, 1996 in Kharkov, Ukraine, at the studio of the TV channel Privat TV. The name was inspired by the actors’ specialization – three clowns and two comics, akin to a poker hand. A demo tape featuring the first five pilot episodes was presented to the management of one of Russia’s major TV channels, ORT. Although accepted, it came with a request to alter the name and the Cabaret-inspired appearance of the host character, Yuri Stytskovsky. Consequently, the show was renamed Calambur.

Production was relocated to Odessa, Ukraine, at the Odessa Film Studio for the second season onwards. In early 2001, following the broadcast of its sixth season, the production of the show was halted by unanimous decision of the cast and producer, leading to the cessation of Calambur. Subsequently, RTR TV channel aired a fake seventh season, comprising sketches from previous seasons along with several unused ones. Plans for new episodes of Calambur were mentioned in 2008 and 2011, but did not materialize, presumably due to disagreements within the cast.

Predecessor of the ‘Iron Kaputt’: a ‘Steep Dive’

The predecessor of the ‘Iron Kaputt’, the ‘Steep Dive’ (Rus. ‘Крутое пике’) segment of the Calambur show, was a parody of American disaster films and made an allusion to the TWA Flight 800 incident, in which a Boeing 747 crashed into the Atlantic Ocean. All characters in this segment spoke broken English, which was translated by a single-voice VHS narrator, occasionally breaking the fourth wall. Each episode was accompanied by CGI footage of a falling airplane (initially an Airbus A340 in the earliest series) and began with a relatively long introduction by a nervous air traffic controller (portrayed by Sergey Gladkov) in the background:

Airliner Broiler 747 has been nose-diving for 325 episodes already. The crew of the airliner valiantly fights to save the lives of passengers. Starring…

In each episode, the pilot of the plane intimidates his partner with jokes about the impending disaster, laughing mockingly at the camera with the audience. In between, a flight attendant comes into the cabin, warning about problems in the passenger compartment and sometimes talking about Miss Boorple (a frequent cause of disorder, described as “approximately 180 kilograms of constantly indignant weight… and this is without her jewelry”), and a radio operator Morse, suffering from stuttering and nervous tic, transmitting a radiogram or calling the Commander to the phone. At the end of each episode, after the credits, there is an inscription “To be continued …”, including the very last episode.

After two years of Calambur broadcasting, ‘Steep Dive’ was replaced by ‘Iron Kaputt’. Though the spacetime, genre, and plot of ‘Iron Kaputt’ significantly differ from ‘Steep Dive’, all actors kept their stock characters without significant changes: Yuri Stytskovsky, who starred as the cheerful and courageous Commander, proceeded to play the Iron Kaputt’s Commander; Aleksey Agopyan, who played resourceful and quick-to-action co-pilot Drinkins, proceeded to play Iron Kaputt’s loader Hans Schmulke; Sergey Gladkov and Vadim Nabokov, who played Miss Boorple and radioman Morse respectively, proceeded as soldiers Drunkel and Zhrunkel. Nabokov and Agopyan also played parts of Zusu tribesmen.

‘Iron Kaputt’ Series

The intro is made in a mockumentary style, with a strict male TV announcer’s voice saying:

In the early 20th century, within the military laboratories of the First Reichsmacht, a highly classified tank project emerged, boasting military power and weaponry far ahead of its time. The tank could operate at temperatures from +50° to -500°C. To avoid prematurely unleashing its destructive potential on Europe, the tank was dispatched to Central Africa with the mission of subduing the unruly Zusu tribe. Over time, for security reasons, all individuals privy to this project were eliminated, and the tank faded into obscurity. However, its fearless crew remained steadfast in their commitment to their mission. This covert project came to be known in the annals of history as ‘Iron Kaputt’.

The ‘Iron Kaputt’ tank is portrayed by a radio-controlled replica of a World War I panzer, adorned with desert camouflage. The sketches primarily depict scenes inside the tank and occasionally near the Zusu village. Flyby visuals of the tank model are used as scene intros, outros, and splitters.

The show makes fun of Russian and Ukrainian stereotypes of Germans, presenting a collective image of soldiers from the WWI-era German Empire and WWII Nazi Germany. This includes sharp army manners of conversations, soldiers’ uniforms, a large number of medals (‘Iron Crosses’), etc. Last but not least, ideas of German Tank Building: large, heavily armored and armed ‘Wunderwaffe’ vehicles, which turn out to be irrational, too expensive, and pointless in a combat environment, etc.

‘The First Reichsmacht’ (Germ. ‘Imperial Force’) is an allusion to the real Wehrmacht (Germ. ‘defensive force’), the unified armed forces of Nazi Germany from 1935 to 1945.

Central Africa (known in German as ‘Mittelafrika’) was also chosen intentionally as it was an important geostrategic region for the German Empire: much like Central Europe (Germ. ‘Mitteleuropa’). Mittelafrika articulated Germany’s foreign policy aim, prior to the First World War, of bringing the region under German domination. However, in reality, Germany only controlled territories in modern-day Burundi, Rwanda, and Tanzania (Tanganyika region) in Eastern Africa (known as ‘Deutsch-Ostafrika’), Kamerun in Central Africa (known as ‘Deutsch-Kamerun’), Togo and a part of Ghana in Western Africa (known as ‘Togoland’), and Namibia in South-Western Africa (‘Deutsch-Südwestafrika’). After WWI, according to the Versailles Treaty, German colonies were divided among the Entente states (Belgium, British Empire, France, and the South African Union).

German WWI African Campaign – Source of Inspiration

Another event that needs to be mentioned is the German campaign in Central and East Africa during the First World War, which stands as a remarkable and oft-overlooked theater of conflict. With the outbreak of hostilities in Europe in 1914, German forces in their African colonies found themselves engaged in a protracted struggle against Allied powers seeking to disrupt Germany’s colonial presence. Among the notable campaigns was the German offensive in British East Africa, which culminated in the occupation of Taveta.

Commencing in September 1914, German colonial forces under the command of Colonel Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck initiated a series of maneuvers aimed at securing strategic positions in British East Africa, Belgian Congo, and Portuguese East Africa. The capture of Taveta in October 1914 marked a significant success for the Germans, enabling them to control key supply routes and disrupt British communications. Concurrently, German expeditions penetrated deep into the interior, extending their influence over regions such as Abercorn in Northern Rhodesia and establishing control over Lake Tanganyika.

The British forces made numerous attempts to defeat Lettow-Vorbeck. For example, in 1916, a unit under the command of Jan Smuts (45,000 men, subsequently reinforced) was sent against him. Avoiding a direct clash with the main British forces, Lettow-Vorbeck instead raided Mozambique, defeating several Portuguese garrisons. Perfect knowledge of the terrain and climate helped Lettow-Vorbeck hold out for a long time while inflicting serious losses on the British forces. For instance, in the Battle of Mahiwa in October 1917, he lost 100 men compared to the British loss of 1,600.

The end of the campaign deserves special attention. German forces took the town of Namakura in July 1918, once again relieving any supply problems. At this point, they had been so successful that they had more ammunition than they could carry. After Namakura, they began marching back up into German East Africa, but scouts spied a British force waiting for them near the frontier. They instead swung west and took the town of Kasama on November 13th, 1918.

Two days after the armistice was signed, the war was supposed to be over. But the news hadn’t reached this roving band of soldiers. The next day, while heading for another town, they saw a white flag approaching their column. Beneath it was the British Magistrate for Rhodesia, Hector Croad. Mr. Croad presented Lettow-Vorbeck, now a Lieutenant General, with a letter from British General Jacob van Deventer. It informed him of the armistice’s signing, the end of hostilities, and Germany’s defeat. Being a gentleman and knowing when there is no other course of action, Lettow-Vorbeck marched north to the British outpost of Abercorn to surrender properly. By this point, his almost 15,000-man force was reduced to 20 officers, 120 German non-commissioned officers and enlisted men, and around 1,168 native Askaris.

Central to the German campaign was the leadership of Colonel Lettow-Vorbeck, nicknamed ‘The Lion of Africa’, whose tactical acumen and resourcefulness confounded Allied efforts throughout the conflict. Employing guerrilla tactics and exploiting the challenging terrain of East Africa, Lettow-Vorbeck sustained a remarkably effective resistance against numerically superior Allied forces. The East African colonial campaign led by Lettow-Vorbeck was the only one in World War I in which German troops were not defeated until the end of the war.

After the war, ‘The Lion of Africa’ lived a long, eventful, and turbulent life. When the Nazi regime was established, Hitler invited Paul to join the NSDAP. However, Lettow-Vorbeck disapproved of their ideology and affairs. In April 1933, Lettow-Vorbeck protested and sent a letter to the President of the Weimar Republic, Paul von Hindenburg, against the dismissal of Bremen police officer Walter Caspari by the National Socialists. The Nazis also attempted to exploit his popularity in propaganda films.

In 1933, Lettow-Vorbeck reluctantly became a member of the SA (Sturmabteilung), and on August 25th, 1939, Hitler awarded him the rank of Infantry General. By the end of World War II, Lettow-Vorbeck found himself in poverty. Both his sons, Rüdiger and Arnd, were killed in combat while serving in the Wehrmacht. His house in Bremen was destroyed by Allied bombing.

In 1953, Lettow-Vorbeck visited the former German East Africa, where he was warmly welcomed by the surviving Askari (colonial soldiers), who accompanied him with the old hiking song ‘Heia Safari!’. He died on March 9th, 1964, in Hamburg, just 11 days before his 94th birthday. The German government invited former German Askari to his funeral. Several Bundeswehr officers were assigned to the guard of honor.

Description of the ‘Design’

Hull

The hull of the ‘Iron Kaputt’ is shaped like a triangular prism, with front and rear plates angled inward at 45º. This differs significantly from the classic rhomboidal shape used on British tanks or the aforementioned German A7V-U during World War I. The creator’s idea and purpose behind this design choice are not clear – it could have been an unintentional choice of aesthetics, a happy little accident, etc., but it can also be optimistically speculated that such a grotesque shape was chosen to highlight the stupidity and impossibility of the design.

Armor thicknesses are unknown as well; the sides are likely not that thick, since they are easily pierced by the tusk of the Zusu war elephant in one of the series. Most armor plates are shown as joined via rivets. At the narrow top of the hull, a cylindrical turret is positioned, armed with two coaxial short-barreled howitzers/mortars. Two small superstructures with short-barreled guns are situated on the hull front step. The driver’s viewing slot is located on the right side of the hull front, next to a hatch on the left.

Each side of the ‘Iron Kaputt’ features two sponsons, armed with short-barreled howitzers or mortars – one in the lower front part and another in the upper rear. Adjacent to the front sponson on each side of the hull are crew doors with ladders. The right side of the ‘Iron Kaputt’ also has a second ladder, leading to the vehicle’s roof and main turret. There are also two viewing slots on each of the tank’s sides.

It is uncertain whether the vehicle had front or rear transmission; given that the motor department is located in the rear part, it is likely that it had a sprocket in the rear and an idler in the front. Details about the suspension are not specified and not visible in the show. The vehicle probably had tracks encircling the hull, similar to real-life British Churchill heavy tanks or the French B1 and ARL 44. In the rear part of the right hull side, a spare track segment is placed. The 3-2 tine single-pin flat tracks of the ‘Iron Kaputt’ are too modern; instead of the WWI ‘tractor’ style, they more resemble narrower 5-4 Soviet T-34 single pin flat tracks.

Overall, the layout of the ‘Iron Kaputt’ is not optimized for maximum speed or all-terrain capability and crossing capacities. This tank would be nearly useless for climbing even a small step and would fall into a trench, rendering it totally helpless on the battlefield.

Armament

It is worth remembering that this was a comedy show where weapons, including ammunition, were intentionally hyperbolized and depicted in a grotesque manner.

The caliber of the tank’s guns is not precisely known. However, based on the images depicting the tank’s appearance, the loading process, and the shown ammunition, it can be assumed that the caliber of the main gun was approximately 400 mm. This is confirmed by the words of the commander, who mentions ‘Big Bertha’ in one of the episodes.

Big Bertha (germ. 42 cm kurze Marinekanone 14 L/12 ‘Dicke Bertha’, meaning ‘420 mm short naval cannon’) was a real siege howitzer that was used by the German Empire during WWI. It entered production in 1912 and was an iteration of earlier super-heavy German siege guns intended to break modern fortresses in France and Belgium. Test firing began in early 1914. When WWI broke out, the two Big Berthas, still prototypes, were sent to Liège, Belgium, and destroyed Forts Pontisse and Loncin. German soldiers bestowed the gun with the nickname ‘Big Bertha’, which then spread through German newspapers to the Allies, who used it as a nickname for all super-heavy German artillery. Two Big Berthas were surrendered to the American Expeditionary Force (A.E.F.) in November 1918. One was taken to the United States, evaluated, and then put on display at the Aberdeen Proving Ground, while the other was left unassembled in its transport configuration. Both were scrapped in 1943 and the early 1950s respectively.

Using the aforementioned estimation, the second gun in the tower would have a caliber of about 300 mm, the guns in the sponsons would range between 150-200 mm, and those in the frontal superstructures would be around 100-150 mm caliber. An optical sight was used.

The tank was armed with additional ‘experimental’ weapons, which were developed by scientists of the First Reichsmacht, according to the plot. These weapons consisted of a collection of absurd, cartoonish, and science-fiction projectiles, which were inapplicable in reality. Below, only several of the most iconic weapons are listed.

The first such weapon was the Weightless Mine (Rus. ‘Мина-невесомка’). After toggling a special switch, within three seconds, the mine lost 100% of its weight and became lighter than air. Under the influence of the wind, the mine flew towards the Zusu camp, where it regained its 15 tonnes, descending to the ground, and exploding. The drawback was that, in the absence of wind, the tank from which it was launched got hit, as depicted in one of the episodes.

Another one was the Invisible Mine (Rus. ‘Мина-невидимка’). It resembled an ordinary pressure mine, but when a switch was toggled, it became invisible after three seconds. Once invisible, it could be loaded into a Big Bertha and fired towards the enemy, where it would fall in anticipation of the enemy’s arrival. The explosion was triggered upon pressing the fuse. This mine was easy to lose, posing a danger to both the operating crew and enemies alike. In one episode, the Commander steps on it and his clothes get destroyed.

‘Iron Kaputt’ was also armed with the Combat Gas of Stultifying Effect (Rus. ‘Боевой газ отупляющего действия’). The gas acted instantly. According to the Commander, when exposed to this gas, Zusu lose control of themselves and begin to do all sorts of stupid things, such as banging their heads against walls, tearing off pins, and trying to shove grenades into their pants. However, since Zusu did not have walls, pants, or grenades, this gas had no effect on them.

The Stupid Mine (Rus. ‘Мина-тупица’) was designed to target a single complete idiot. The principle of its action is entirely unknown, but most likely, it detonated when the designated individual was close enough to it and inevitably alone. In one episode, it explodes near the Commander.

The Self-guided Sonic Mine (Rus. ‘Самонаводящаяся Звуковая Мина’) was designed to react to the battle cry of the Zusu. Upon detecting the battle cry, the mine immediately reacted, getting as close to the Zusu as possible and exploding.

The Super Grenade of Enormous Explosive Power (rus. ‘Супер-граната огромной взрывной силы’) was a large projectile, standing at over a metre in height, resembling the real German WWI stick hand grenades, known as ‘Stielhandgranate’. It detonated precisely one minute after the safety was removed. The tricky drawback of this grenade was that the safety mechanism represented a platform beneath the grenade, used for its transportation.

Crew

The Commander, Major Baron von Schwalzkopf XII, also known as Herr Major by his tank crew members, was portrayed by Yuri Stytskovsky. Proud but not particularly intelligent, he often refers to others as ‘dummkopf’ (Germ. for ‘blockhead’). Despite his self-assured demeanor, his decisions often lead to chaos, resulting in explosions within the tank, torn uniforms, and his signature exclamation: “Ha-a-ans!”.

The Commander’s name contains two allusions, primarily to Russian offensive words.

Firstly, his surname part “Schwal-“ is a play on words. It innocently references the German word ‘schwalbe’, meaning ‘swallow’ (a bird), while also serving as a transliteration of the Russian offensive word ‘шваль’ (meaning ‘trash’ or ‘scum’). This rude word has historical roots, potentially dating back to the Napoleonic Wars of 1812. It may have originated from the French word ‘cheval’, meaning ‘horse’, which Russian peasants misheard and integrated into their language as an offensive term. Another theory suggests its origin from the Russian verb ‘шить’, meaning ‘to sew’. During the Swedish siege of Russian Novgorod in 1614, a captured tailor, Ivan Prokofiev, nicknamed ‘the Schwal’, betrayed his compatriots by agreeing to open the city gates for the Swedes. In this context, ‘шваль’ is an ancient Russian masculine noun derived from the aforementioned verb ‘шить’ and means ‘tailor’. Modern Russian language only uses the feminine form ‘швея’, meaning ‘female tailor’ or ‘needlewoman’.

Additionally, Schwalzkopf can be associated with Schwarzkopf (roughly translatable as Black Head), a German company that exported care products (such as shampoos and shower gels) to Russia in the 1990s, becoming one of the most recognizable and popular brands on the market.

Secondly, the German vocative ‘Herr’, meaning ‘Lord’, phonetically resembles a Russian vulgar word often humorously portrayed in the ‘Iron Kaputt’ series.

Hans Schmulke, portrayed by Aleksey Agopyan, serves as the gunner and the sole technician aboard the tank. While not exceptionally bright, he shows more foresight than the Major and considers the consequences of their actions. Apart from his mechanical duties, he enjoys reading, listening to music, and dancing. When explosions occur within the tank, Hans is quick to flee to retrieve a fresh pair of gallifet trousers (a style of Russian military trousers similar to riding breeches) for the commander after the blast.

Drunkel, portrayed by Sergey Gladkov, and Zhrunkel, played by Vadim Nabokov, are two enormously fat soldiers who often find themselves on the receiving end of the commander’s tirades. As their names suggest (‘Drunkel’ from eng. ‘drunk’ and ’Zhrunkel’ from the Russian word ‘жрать’, meaning ‘to devour’), one is frequently seen with a beer stein while the other carries a chain of bockwurst sausages. Herr Major frequently tests their knowledge of military terms and regulations, or challenges their physical endurance with rapid push-ups.

From a rational perspective, there are several questions regarding the crew of the vehicle. Firstly, traditional crew roles are not clearly defined. Herr Schwalzkopf, the Commander, could potentially serve as a radioman as well. Hans Schmulke, the gunner and technician, may also operate as a driver, which would mean that ‘Iron Kaputt’ could not shoot while on the move. Drunkel and Zhrunkel may function as loaders, although they may not be sufficient for the numerous heavy armaments of the land cruiser.

Overall, it seems unlikely that just four crew members could effectively operate such a complex and large vehicle. Instead, ‘Iron Kaputt’ would likely have required about 24 crew members, including a commander, driver, seven gunners (one in the main turret, two in frontal turrets, and four in side sponsons), up to 14 loaders (considering the varying calibers of the ‘Iron Kaputt’, which range from 150 to 420 mm, and the extremely heavy ammunition), and optionally, a radioman.

The Unruly Zusu Tribe – Enemies of the Iron Kaputt

The Zusu, played by Aleksey Agopyan and Vadim Nabokov, are two members of the ‘unruly Zusu’ tribe. They find amusement in the mistakes and futile attempts of the invaders and fire their makeshift ‘weapons’ at the tank while hiding in the trenches.

Though these characters present a generalized image, poking fun at Russian stereotypes of the african tribes, their tribe name – Zusu (Rus. ‘непокорные зусулы’, pronounced ‘zoosooly’) – is an allusion to the real ethnic group Zulu (in rus. ‘зулусы’, pronounced ‘zooloosy’) with an estimated 13.56 million people. Zulus live not in Central, but in South Africa, mainly in the province of KwaZulu-Natal, and were never Germany’s colonial aim. Today, the Zulu people predominantly adhere to Christianity but have developed a syncretic religion that combines aspects of their prior belief systems.

Second Life of the ‘Iron Kaputt’

The ‘Calambur’ series gained tremendous popularity long after it aired. In the 2010s and 2020s, numerous ‘Iron Kaputt’-based memes appeared on the internet in the CIS (Commonwealth of Independent States; countries of the former Soviet Union with large percent of russian-speaking population).

For example, when the online game World of Tanks introduced the premium Pz. B2 tank (a French B1 captured by Germans and referred to as ‘Pz.Kpfw. B2 740 (f)’), which was considered overpowered in many aspects at the time, it quickly acquired the nickname ‘Iron Kaputt’ amongst Russian players.

Furthermore, ‘Iron Kaputt’ has now become a widely recognized term for a tank that is described in words as an ultimate weapon, super-strong, and invincible, but in reality is not. For instance, a 2018 article about Projekt P.1000 (also known as Ratte) by Russian historian Yuri Pasholok is titled ‘Iron Kaputt’, referring to the land cruiser’s formidable yet ultimately pointless nature.

Additionally, during the conflict in Ukraine, Russian propaganda often labels Western vehicles, such as the M1 Abrams or the MIM-104 Patriot, as ‘Iron Kaputt’, attempting to sway the opinion of the target audience by portraying Western supplies to Ukraine as insufficient and worthless.

On the other hand, Ukrainian and the Russian non-systemic opposition propaganda often refer to prospective Object 195 and T-14 Armata in this way. Here they are using the term to emphasize that these modern and high-tech prototypes are either too expensive for the Russian Army to afford or do not meet the stated specifications.

Conclusion

Despite being dubbed a ‘Wunderwaffe’, the ‘Iron Kaputt’ tank is riddled with flaws in its construction and features impractical weaponry; this stark contrast forms the basis for the plot of most sketches. In summary, it can be noted that the Calambur sketch show in general, and the‘Iron Kaputt’episodes in particular, were significant milestones in Russian and Ukrainian humor. In the 1990s, they ushered-in an era of avant-garde and innovative comedy on television screens. This is evidenced by the continued interest of new generations of viewers even after almost a quarter of a century, and their continued relevance and cultural inclusion in the countries of the former USSR to this day.

‘Iron Kaputt’ fictional tank specifications table
Dimensions (L-W-H)	Length: 20,000+ mm Width: 10,000+ mm Height: 5,000+ mm
Crew	4 (commander, gunner/technician, two soldiers)
Primary Armament	42 cm kurze Marinekanone 14 L/12 ‘Big Bertha’
Secondary Armament	Unspecified; 15, 21, 28.3 cm cannons and/or mortars [hypothetical]
Operational temperature	+50°…-500°C
Built	1

Sources

• Calambur sketch show;
• Waffen Revue 21;
• Waffen Revue 52;
• «A German tank captured by the 26th Australian battalion, at Monument Wood, near …» – Australian War Memorial
• ‘«Armata» is replacing the «Iron Kaputt»’ – Argumenti nedeli (rus. ‘«Армата» идет на смену «Железному капуту»’ – Аргументы Недели);
• “Dicke Bertha”: Only partially powerful – Frankfurter Allgemeine (germ. ‘«Dicke Bertha»: Nur bedingt durchschlagskräftig’);
• East and Central Africa by Anne Samson, 1914-1918-online. International Encyclopedia for the First World War;
• Iron Kaputt – 3D model by t-braze;
• ‘Iron Kaputt’ – Y. Pasholok (rus. ‘Железный капут’ – Ю. Пашолок);
• ‘Iron Kaputt’ superheavy tank – WikiWarriors (rus. ‘Сверхтяжёлый танк Железный Капут’);
• ‘Iron Kaputt: the story of the most powerful tank in the world’ – Yandex.Zen (rus. ‘Железный Капут: история самого мощного танка в мире’);
• Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck by Eckard Michels, 1914-1918-online. International Encyclopedia for the First World War;
• “Shady deals: How German colonists bought an empire in Africa” – Cai Nebe, Deutsche Welle;
• ‘«The Iron Kaputt». How the United States is dumping unnecessary military junk to Ukraine’ – Ukraine.ru (rus. ‘«Железный капут». Как США сваливают Украине ненужный военный хлам’);
• The Lion of Africa: Paul von Lettow Vorbeck: Germany’s WW1 Guerilla Commander In East Africa by Gabe Christy, War History Online;
• “Zulu Warriors” – The Walther Collection;