“Derailer” – Dr. Loveless’ Steam Tank (Fictional Tank)

Loveless Alliance (1865-1869)
Steam Tank – Fictional

Doctor Loveless’ Steam “Derailer” Tank was a fictional armored vehicle that appeared in the film ‘Wild Wild West’. Released on June 30th, 1999, by Warner Bros. Pictures, the Western/Steampunk/Action/Adventure film debuted to a less than stellar reception. Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, the film is based extremely loosely on the 1960s television show of the same name and features an all-star cast of Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, and Salma Hayek. Despite this, the film was a commercial failure and was virtually torn apart by reviewers at the time. Even so, the film is an award winner, claiming 8 Golden Raspberries (‘Razzies’) at the 2000 Awards. These included Worst Picture, Worst Screenplay, and Worst Director.

The ludicrous plot of ‘Wild Wild West’ is set four years after the culmination of the American Civil War (1861 – 1865), in 1869. It tells the tale of two U.S. Marshalls, Jim West and Artemus Gordon (Smith and Kline respectively), who work together to protect the unity of the bruised United States from an ex-Confederate mad scientist, Doctor Arliss Loveless (Branagh). Thanks to a science experiment gone wrong, Dr. Loveless is quite literally ‘half a man’, and wishes to once again break up the Union all from the comfort of his steam-powered wheel-chair. To quote a line from the film, this “Sawed-off, sadistic bastard” has a wealth of technology available to him that is seemingly decades ahead of its time (that is to say, the set time of the film). This includes a fleet of weaponized steam-powered vehicles, one of which is a heavily armed steam-powered “tank” – the more realistic one, not the “80-foot Tarantula”…

This steam “tank” was dreamt up by the film’s production designer Bo Welch, and is depicted as an armored vehicle capable of semi-submerged travel in shallow water, can run on railroad tracks, and is armed with a litany of weapons. In the set time of 1869, the vehicle pre-dates the first real tanks by almost half a century, so there are not any real-world comparisons (save for a couple of patents that the design team was probably unaware of). Nonetheless, there are some real-world parallels of certain details that can be drawn on.

Name

One thing to address is the term ‘tank’ and the name of the vehicle itself. At the time set of the film, the term ‘tank’ used to describe a heavily armored vehicle did not exist. The term did not appear until the battlefield debut of the tank by the British in 1916, during World War I. The origin of the term stems from the odd construction of Little Willie (the first tank prototype), which had completely separate track units and looked very much like a water tank without them. The name has stuck ever since.

As to its own name, the vehicle is not officially named in the film, only referred to as ‘the tank’. Outside of the in-film universe, it is often just referred to as ‘The Loveless Tank’, ‘Loveless’ Tank’, or the ‘Wild Wild West Steam Tank’, among others. However, a toy of the vehicle was released as part of the movie’s tie-in toy line produced by the toy brand X-toys. This was called the “Derailer Tank” and came with an action figure of Dr Loveless. This is where the name used in this article comes from, as it is the most official source for an actual name.

Steam Tanks in History

While there were never any real-world steam tanks built, there were a number of armored vehicle patent designs floating about across the major powers during the mid-19th century. One such vehicle comparison is the ‘Locomotive Land Battery’ designed by James Cowen and James Sweetlong in 1855. A full article on this conceptual vehicle exists on Tank Encyclopedia, but this excerpt from an 1855 issue of ‘Mechanics Magazine’ gives the best brief description of the proposed vehicle:

“This invention consists in forming a large land battery, running on wheels and driven by steam. To the framing of the battery and at right angles to its length, are fitted strong and powerful blades turning upon a hinge joint, so as to lie close to the framing when not in use, and to be instantly thrown out when required by the artillery-men or persons inside the battery, ‘the effect being to mow down any troops that come in contact with or near the battery”

– Mechanics Magazine 1855

Cowen’s vehicle was never built, and would only remain a paper-based patent design. The designer would die in the late 1800s, with his design largely forgotten. It was not until more well-known ‘futurists’ like H. G. Wells came along that steam tanks, and armored vehicles in general, were again considered to be a feature on future battlefields.

Cowen’s design looked more like a turtle than a tank – not that people at this time knew what a tank was supposed to look like – and its design was far different from the vehicle seen in ‘Wild Wild West’. The only shared similarities are the fact it has a noticeable funnel, and rolls on large spoked, wagon-like wheels.

Film Representation

“…It rolls on, and on making a screeching sound like a wounded animal. It has a cabin on top with a cannon, swivels around like an eagle’s head…”

– Jim West after Loveless’ ambush of Confederate troops.

The “Derailer” tank was designed and developed by Loveless himself and debuted in action in the final days of the American Civil War, which ended in 1865. The vehicle takes the form of an ovoid box, almost like a carriage with three large, wagon-like wheels on either side. The wheels are – presumably – iron or steel, and covered in spikes, with the central wheel overlapping the front and rear set. The vehicle is all-metal and is constructed from riveted panels. The upper ‘turret’ section bears the weaponry and is separate from the hull, capable of full 360° rotation. Armament consists of a single large caliber cannon, backed up by multiple smaller caliber cannons, and a couple of Gatling guns. The vehicle’s main funnel protrudes from the rear of the turret, where there is an access ladder to the single roof hatch, seemingly the only point of ingress and egress. Attached to a pintle in front of this hatch is another Gatling Gun. There is also an extending periscope on the roof.

Apart from the periscope, there appears to be no other vision devices on the tank, whether it be a slit in the armor or otherwise. This leads to the question of communication. The tank receives instructions via signal lamp, much like that used on shipping from the mid-19th century. However, with no means of vision other than the periscope, it is hard to see how this would work effectively, not least because the operator would have to take his eyes off of directional travel and targeting to concentrate on signaling. The vehicle also does not seem to have a means of reply.

The number of crew is unknown. Taking into account the amount of weaponry, the fact that it is steam driven, and has poor visibility, it would take a crew of at least 6 – 10 men (comparable to the first real tanks with similar layouts) to practically operate this machine. Although a large vehicle, one fails to see how these men would fit inside, especially when one considers the rest of the gubbins that are supposedly contained within.

Overview

“Gentlemen, since the beginning of written history, a nation’s power has been determined by the size of its standing army. Tonight, that chapter will be closed! The traditional army, to say nothing of the United States, will become extinct! Laid low by a ‘cripple’ – as the General so amusingly implied – and mechanology…”

– Dr. Loveless addressing his audience after the bloody display of the tank.

Steam Power

Steam-powered vehicles require certain factors that allow them to operate. These include, but are not limited to water, fuel (coal, wood, in some cases oil), a fire-box, and a boiler. Typically, a steam engine utilizes a large boiler filled with water. At one end of this is a firebox (basically a furnace) where the fuel of choice is inserted and set ablaze. The fire heats the water and vaporizes it to form steam. The steam is then directed via piping to whichever parts need to move. Excess steam and smoke from the fire are vented from a funnel. It would appear that the Derailer has no room for any of these components, at least at a size necessary to move what would probably be an incredibly heavy machine. The only evidence of the steam system is the large funnel that protrudes from the rear of the ‘turret’. This then leads to the question of just where the steam engine would be located inside. Looking at the vehicle, one would assume it lies in the ‘belly of the beast’, the drive to the wheels being certainly located here, but then how would the funnel continue to vent in a separate rotating body?

As to the wheels, these large, spoked metal wheels are at least 5 ft (1.5 m) in diameter and use spikes around the circumference for grip. This is great for soft terrain, less so on hard terrain or ice. It would appear the wheels are chain driven. The chain runs to the hub of each wheel, but it is unclear which one is the main ‘drive’ wheel. The vehicle can also travel through deep water, seemingly by deep-wading). Quite how it achieves this is not explained. The vehicle by no means appears sealed to water, and its solid metal spiked wheels would no doubt find it hard to gain traction. One thing that suggests deep wading over complete submersion is the simple fact that its funnel needs to breathe.

Armored Train Mode

To achieve rail travel, two sets of bogies wheels extend from the bottom of the hull, lifting the rest of the vehicle off the ground. Although, quite how the tank gets over and straddles the rails in the first place bares its own question. When on the rails, it can form the ‘engine’ of Loveless’ single carriage personal armored train. To achieve this, the tank backs up to the carriage. When in place, two large claw-like doors close around it. Apertures are left for the funnel and weapons to protrude through. It is unclear how the railroad wheels are powered, as there are no obvious belts, chains, pulleys or pistons attached to them.

The carriage has its own set of armaments, and appears to have multiple firing slits. It would appear that the armored train has a similar speed to a standard ‘Western Style’ steam locomotive. One trick it has up its proverbial sleeve is a set of extendible legs. These come in handy if being pursued, especially if you happen to be on the reverse side of a tunnel. Folding out from the flanks of the carriage, these cable and truss legs are strong enough to support the entire weight of the combined vehicle.

Armored trains were a very real form of armored vehicle, in fact one of the first. As a concept they appeared around the time of the American Civil War, in the form of the “Railroad Battery”, literally just a box of cannons pushed by a locomotive. Over time, they became more complex. By the time of World War Two, the trains were fully armored, featuring cannon turrets, anti-air guns and squads of infantry. During the Cold War, the Soviet Union (USSR) developed train based Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile (ICBM) Launchers.

Weaponry

The “Derailer” has quite the arsenal at its disposal, all carried in or on the upper ‘turret’ portion of the vehicle. This turret is capable of full 360 rotation, but it is unclear how much movement is afforded to the main armament. This armament consists of a large cannon of unknown type and caliber. It is clearly breech-loaded, but it is unclear whether it uses black-powder charges or contained cartridges. This cannon is also capable of firing a large harpoon attached to a heavy chain. Quite how this is supposed to work is unclear, as the length of chain would have to be pulled through the breach, meaning it would not be sealed and the pressure of the contained explosion would vent through any aperture instead of the barrel of the gun. For this reason, real world harpoon guns, such as those used on whaling vessels, had their chains/cables/ropes stowed on the outside of the gun and its firing mechanism.

Secondary armament consists of four smaller cannons, again of unknown type and caliber. They are placed in two, double-gun mountings, one each side of the main gun on the ‘cheeks’ of the turret. If that was not enough, there are also three Gatling-type machine guns. There is one on each flank of the tank in what appears to be a ball mount, as well as the pintle mounted gun on the roof. The choice of Gatling guns is not too outlandish, these hand-cranked rotary guns appeared in 1861. The hull-mounted guns appear to be traditional hand cranks, however, Loveless has gone one step further and somehow powered the roof gun (presumably some sort of steam contraption), removing the need for the hand crank. In reality, powered Gatling-type weapons would not appear until the late 1950s, with the American M61 ‘Vulcan’ rotary cannon.

Interior

The “Derailer’s” interior simply does not match its exterior when when one considers the internal volume that should be taken up by the internal components. As already stated above, a boiler for the steam power and the breach end of the main cannon, among other things, are missing. Second to that, it is hard to see how a practical number of crew members would fit in its confines.

The tank’s controls consist of a large podium-like structure covered in a series of levers that can seemingly be operated by one crew member. The interior walls are covered in the stowage of ammunition, including machine gun-like belts of small arms ammunition. There are also small caliber fixed artillery shells stowed at various points. In reality, these did not come about until much later in the 19th century.

From Betrayal to Destruction

Chronologically speaking, the first mention of the tank refers to its use as the Civil War was winding down. A week before the War’s culmination, which would make it May 19th, 1865, Confederate Troops under the Command of one General McGrath (Ted Levine) ransacked the free-slave town of ‘New Liberty’. Loveless’ tank was also used. It was a massacre, leading to the General receiving the grizzly nom de guerre of “Bloodbath McGrath – The Butcher of New Liberty”. At some point in this attack, however, the tank malfunctioned and apparently had a bad case of gunpowder-related rapid unscheduled disassembly, resulting in Dr. Loveless’ life-changing injuries. From that day, Jim West (main protagonist), who was serving in the Union Army at the time, vowed to hunt down “The Butcher of New Liberty”.

“Today, I’m proud to be able to sit before ya’ll, and tell you that the wrongs will be righted! The past, made present! The United, Divided!”

– A snippet of Loveless’ speech to his benefactors.

Fast-forward four years to 1869, and Loveless has a grand scheme to create an ‘Un-United States’. Should they back his plan, countries such as Mexico, Spain, France and the British Empire, all of which had a stake in colonial America, would all get a sizable chunk of the continent either returned to them, or new territory granted. Great Britain, for example, would reclaim their 13 original colonial states. Loveless would claim much of the north-west of the continent for himself as ‘Loveless Land’.

With these plans gathering steam – pun intended, Loveless arranges a live-fire demonstration for his supposed foreign beneficiaries. He orders fellow ex-Confederate Army officer, General ‘Bloodbath’ McGrath, to gather his rag-tag band of Confederate veterans to a small lake-side peninsula. Observing from a distance in a small ironclad steam-boat on the lake, were Loveless, his female entourage, General McGrath and the foreign dignitaries. The steam tank soon emerges from the lake and climbs out onto the shore. Initially, the Confederate troops were ecstatic to see the iron monster, no doubt thinking that this machine was going to win them the war that had already been lost.

Screams of delight soon changed to screams of terror as, with all guns, the Derailer opened fire on the unsuspecting men. Sitting in place and spinning its turret, the men are cut down one by one. A horrified General McGrath accuses Loveless’ of betrayal, to which the Doctor replies:

“My dear General, having donated half of my physical being to create a weapon capable of doing this, how did you and General Lee repay my loyalty? You surrendered, at Appomattox! So who betrayed who!?”

McGrath then levels his pistol on Loveless’ head, but the Doctor shoots first from a concealed gun in his wheelchair. Loveless’ hench-women then throw the General’s body overboard. With the slaughter concluded and Loveless’ vengeance complete, the tank rolls onward to a nearby rail siding, where the armored train carriage is waiting.

Some time later, Marshalls Jim West and Artemus Gordon are in pursuit of Loveless’ armored train on their own locomotive, ‘The Wanderer’. They soon spot Loveless’ train in the distance and begin to close. The Wanderer passes through the tunnel, only for Loveless’ train to have disappeared. By using a set of hidden legs, Loveless had stopped on the rear side of the tunnel and raised the train high enough for the following Marshalls to pass through without noticing. Once the Wanderer had passed, the Derailer lowered itself back down on the rails to become the pursuer.

Artemus suddenly notices they’re the one being chased as the Derailer fires, missing the train as they take a turn. West jumps onto the “Sub-Carriage Inter-Rail Vehicular Egressor”. One of Artemus Gordon’s catchily named inventions, this particular piece of equipment is a low-profile skid that can run between rail tracks and under a following train. After a couple of mishaps, West manages to jump on-board the rear of Loveless’ train, and reaches the roof. While looking for something to plug the funnel, West is set upon by one of Loveless’ men. Quickly dispatching him, West uses his body to plug the funnel, stopping steam from escaping.

With the Wanderer in the main gun’s sights, Munitia fires the main gun, launching the large harpoon. It smashes through the rear of the carriage and brings the train to a halt, just as the built up pressure detonates the front portion of the Derailer. Loveless’ and his cronies leave their train, and move to steal the Wanderer. Jim West and Artemus Gordon are left at the rail side, awaiting their fate at the hands of one of Loveless’ steam powered booby traps.

And thus, the role of the “Derailer” in Wild Wild West comes to a close. Loveless plans would, of course, go on to fail, even after he replaces the “Derailer” with his crowning glory, an 80 foot steam-powered mechanical tarantula. Loveless would die at the hands of Jim West, achieving his revenge for the slaughter of New Liberty. President Grant rewards both West and Artemus Gordon with becoming the first members of the US Secret Service (even though, in reality, it had existed since 1865, and the role of protecting the President did not come until 1901).

Conclusion

Much like the plot of the movie in which it features, the “Derailer”, while imaginative, is complete insanity. Its biggest flaw is that, being part of a Hollywood feature, its design was governed by “the rule of cool” without a thought given to how this thing would operate, move, or even exist in a real world sense. That being said, it is a bit of fun, and who doesn’t like the idea of some madman in a steam tank carving up the old west?

As for the prop itself, it would appear it has completely disappeared. Various size versions of it were no doubt built for filming, including life-size practical examples. However, as the film itself was a complete failure critically and commercially, one imagines that there was not a great deal of sentimentality towards the vehicle.

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Specifications
Dimensions (L-W-H)	Unknown. Roughly the size of a small locomotive
Total Weight	Heavy
Crew	Only 2 – 4 shown
Propulsion	Steam Engine
Suspension	6 large, spiked metal wheels + 4 rail-road wheels
Speed	Cross Country: Slow On Rails: Faster
Armament	Cannon Cannon-fired harpoon 4 x smaller cannon 2 x turret mounted Gatling guns, 1 x roof Gatling gun
Armor	Iron/Steel, unknown thickness

Sources

Wild Wild West (1999), Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, Written by S. S. Wilson and Brent Maddock, Warner Bros. Pictures
The Making of Wild Wild West, ‘Evil Devices’, DVD extras.
Mechanics Magazine, Vol. 63, 1855, R. Brooman
Internet Movie Database (IMDB)
Trading Card Database (TCDB)